There is this very interesting phenomena that happens to us humans. After we experience stuff, we tend to habituate to it very quickly.
There was a very interesting study where after hundreds of couples went on vacation to different resorts around the world.
Afterwards, they asked them the following:
What was your favorite part of your vacation?
The interesting thing that they discovered was that one word was repeating the most in the answers…
Which word was it? First
People were telling stuff along the lines of:
“The first time that we saw the beach”
“The first sunset in lounge”
“The first day at the spa”
Apparently, we love new experiences, and then we habituate, get bored and want more new experiences!
That same study showed that the point of maximum enjoyment was reached after the first 48 hrs. then decreased from there, it didn’t matter if it was a 5 or a 20-day vacation.
It doesn’t mean people were not enjoying anymore, just not as much.
What does this mean for us?
Well for practical implications, it does speak about of how we quickly habituate to things in life, whether is a new plant, a new pet, a new car, a new partner.
We seem to habituate fast.
That is part of how humans are wired, it’s not inherently a bad aspect.
Is just that it has the potential to be bad for us if that means we no longer appreciate or enjoy as much the things in our daily life.
Not just that, but habituation can make us enter a robot mode kind of living.
If we get out of bed and make a coffee for 100 days straight, believe me, the next 100 days you won’t even have to think about it to do it, it will be on “autopilot”.
The same goes for if we grab our phone and start scrolling social media every time we feel bored or anxious for 100 days, well guess what happens? You are now conditioned to do it on “autopilot” even with something that is useless and can suck 3 hours of your precious time.
The weird thing is that we enter that autopilot mode of living very easy and the scary part is that almost unaware of it.
Legendary investor and philanthropist Warren Buffet once said:
“The chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.”
I think this perfectly describes how most people live their life.
We get through the motions of the day without being fully there in the present moment, appreciating the details.
To make things worse, we are now living in an overstimulated world with endless amount of distraction.
This is where things start to get messy.
Imagine a loop of activities you are not even sure you like or agree upon, but you are repeating them over and over again, day in and day out.
Scary as it sounds, that is precisely how many people live their life’s and don’t get me wrong, probably all of us do that to some extent, some do it for a couple of hours, some for a couple of weeks, and some for a lifetime.
As far as I remember I just dislike that idea of living just in autopilot, and I don’t mean just not being fully present in the daily life activities.
I also mean it to where your life is heading.
I remember back when i was in college, I asked some of the classmates:
Zifush: Hey what will you do after graduating from college?
They just looked back at me with a weird look on their face and the most common answer was:
Other guy: What do you mean what I’m going to do? Well, Work! duh!
I know, its “obvious”, but is that what they were really wanting to do?
Work as a caged monkey in a cubicle typing excel numbers all day long.
I knew damn well I didn’t, and I could bet they didn’t want that for themselves either but then again, they were on “autopilot”, not questioning.
Where they want to be? how did they want to live? what would be a dream job for them? was there any other way?
Long term thinking is key to an intentional life
As humans we are not very good at long-term thinking, apparently is again tied to evolution, we could very well be prepared for stocking 2 months of food in advance, but to evolve that and think of saving for 30 years of retirement?
Oops, we have a problem.
Look around you. Most of our fellow humans on earth are very short term oriented, most are going through life based on 2 things:
1.- Immediate problems. (working, paying bills, fixing the toilet, buying food, etc)
2.- Immediate pleasures. (watching tv, go shopping, playing games, travel, etc)
There´s nothing wrong with the activities above, they are part of the human experience for most of us. The problem comes when that is all there is.
When you are just living in the immediate problems and pleasures, life can very easily get you on autopilot, and then life feels like a hamster wheel, just spinning faster every day, and with less possibility of a escape.
This is why the need to envision yourself, 5, 10, 20 years from now is important, you start to plan, but more than that you can align your present actions to where you want to be, with whom you want to be, what you want to be working on.
When you do that you start to feel energized, motivated, because now you have a target, something to aim and strive for, which you may have had in the past or probably you have now, and you know the feeling is otherworldly, is just the best.
Which leads to the next point.
Living with a purpose / meaning
It is a very interesting thing what happens then when you start to have a goal/purpose/meaning.
You have an inner energy that doesn’t come from coffee, or sleeping, is the will to achieve. That is i believe one of the most powerful forces humans possess.
Theres a quote from American comedian George Burns:
“You don’t need to sleep more, you need a better reason to get out of bed”
The thing is, now is increasingly becoming a problem for younger generations to feel satisfied, and to have a meaning/purpose.
The good part is that you shouldn’t feel overwhelmed by the term, “purpose” as it doesn’t mean you need to change humanity and give to the world the most spectacular innovation of the century.
Purpose and meaning are very subjective, it is not what you think “society” would deem acceptable, is what you find it to be. That´s why is also very useful for instance to substitute the word for goal, if you aren’t still very sure of where you stand.
Because even if it’s something like learning how to play chess, becoming a musician, learning how to paint, building your own house, having a family.
It doesn’t matter what is it, but the point is that is so unique to you that it doesn’t matter if it’s not your lifelong purpose, is at least something that moves you, energizes you, puts a smile on your face.
You start to get compelled and pulled by your future.
Do that for multiple stuff and with different timeframes, maybe start with 5 years, then move on to longer timeframes.
Your actions in the present then will start to mold and align because now you have more clarity and connection with your “Future self.”
Embrace the journey, for in doing so, you craft not just a brighter tomorrow, but a more fulfilling today.
Live your life with intention
So, as we go about our days, let’s remember to break free from the routine and find joy in new experiences. Let’s cherish the little things and keep our eyes on the bigger picture.
Life isn’t just about going through the motions; it’s about living with purpose and meaning. So, let’s embrace each day with enthusiasm, knowing that every moment is an opportunity for growth and fulfillment.
Let’s strive to make our lives meaningful, not just for ourselves but for those around us. After all, it’s not the length of our days that matters most but the quality of our experiences and the impact we have on others.
I leave you with this quote.
“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.”
– Pablo Picasso
Much love,
Zifush.